


Follow You, Follow Me

by RobotSquid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-04
Updated: 2012-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-03 01:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobotSquid/pseuds/RobotSquid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you crack the ice, you might fall in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow You, Follow Me

“He’s been following us for three nights now.” The Disciple spoke as nonchalantly as she could, not even bothering to change her gait or tilt her head. She simply said the words, and whatever emotional attachment she had to them was kept safely hidden.

“But that’s all he’s _been_ doing: following,” the Signless insisted, struggling not to look behind them. “I mean…if he were working for somebody, don’t you think he would have done something by now?”

“We haven’t been in town for nearly a week,” the Dolorosa replied, her long, elegant strides setting the pace for the group. “There’s no way he would have been able to contact anybody.”

The Signless grumbled and scowled. “I think…we should talk to him.”

“Talking to a psionic troll we know nothing about who has been shadowing us is unwise,” his lusus responded flatly. “We will either have to hope that we can lose him, or…do something about it.”

“No!” the Signless exclaimed, stopping in his tracks. The two females turned back to stare at him, the Disciple’s eyes wide and incredulous.

“What are you doing?” she hissed quietly. “Don’t draw attention to yourself!”

The Signless said nothing as he turned and began to walk back the way they had come. The Disciple and Dolorosa stayed where they were, watching him with apprehension. The stranger, the one who had trailed after them for nights and nights, stood his ground, stopped in his tracks, and watched the Signless approach. The mutant-blooded troll smiled as he came close enough to see the stranger’s face.

It was a psionic troll; they had always known that much. What they had never known, was where he came from, or when exactly they had picked up a shadow. He stayed almost two hundred yards away from them at all times, but despite every attempt the Disciple made to cover their tracks, he never lost them. When they stopped to sleep for the day, he did not approach them. The Signless didn’t know how the troll had been getting his food…though there was one easy explanation for that. Which was, he hadn’t been eating.

Not that you could tell from looking at him. He was rail skinny, all bones and angles, decked out in some ridiculous uniform the highbloods had devised for easily identifying his caste. As the Signless came close, the troll stood rigid, watching him with unblinking red and blue eyes. There was the slightest hint of electricity in the air as the gap between them closed, but the psionic troll did nothing more.

“Hello,” the Signless offered congenially, raising a hand to greet him. The troll said nothing.

“Um…” he continued, rubbing the back of his head nervously. “So…we noticed you’ve been…following us.”

Again, nothing. The troll did not even shuffle or flinch.

“You’re welcome to walk, um… _with_ us. If you want.”

The red and blue eyes flicked downward to the ground, and slowly back up.

“Or…not.” The Signless sighed. “Well, I wouldn’t mind it, is all I’m saying. Also, if you ever want to eat with us, we’ll save some for you.” He turned to walk away, and was startled by the sound of scuffling feet behind him.

He looked back, and the psionic troll had grabbed onto his cloak, and was gently brushing away the dust and dirt that had gathered on the edges of it.

“Oh,” the Signless said, trying not to move but completely at a loss. The troll stared at the dust, scrutinizing every inch of it, and brushed away every last piece of dirt and grass it had dragged through. Once it was deemed clean, he smoothed it out, gathered up an armful of cloth, and carefully slung it over the Signless’ shoulder. He stood back, staring at him, as if waiting for approval…or another command.

“Uh…thanks,” the Signless told him, unwilling to move the cloak even the slightest bit, in case it offended him. He forced a smile, even though he was quite sure he had no idea what had just happened. “I guess it has gotten a little dirty, huh?”

The psionic troll took a deep breath, and slowly bent over at the waist, bowing low, and straightened himself up again. “If you would allow me, thir,” he said quietly, with a painfully obvious lisp, “I would requetht permission to follow you.”

The Signless blinked. A wide, genuine smile spread across his face, and he leapt forward and grabbed the troll up in a hug, sweeping him up off his feet. “Of course you can!” he laughed. “I said you could, didn’t I?”

He set the troll back down, who took a step backward, looking half-terrified to death. The Signless swung his arm over the psionic troll’s shoulders and began to lead him back towards the others.

\---

The dinner the Disciple had caught for them was enormous, big enough for all four of them to have seconds if they liked. The Disciple and Signless quickly destroyed their fair share, while the Dolorosa opted for a lighter meal. The Psiioniic, however, was not eating. He sat within their circle around the campfire, watching them all eat with an impassive, unreadable face, but he did not touch the portion given to him. Upon seeing that the Dolorosa had finished, and was not taking a second helping, he cautiously slid his plate over towards her.

“Oh, no thank you, dear,” the Dolorosa replied, smiling at him. She took a tiny beat-up tin cup and finished off the drink of water inside. The Psiioniic looked around for the equally ragged pitcher, and refilled the cup without a word.

“Oh…thank you, Psiioniic,” she said, struggling to hide her discomfort. She took another sip as he watched her; apparently satisfied, the yellowblooded troll turned his attention to the others.

“Go ahead and eat some before it gets cold, Psii,” the Signless said, his voice muffled by a full mouth.

The Psiioniic shook his head. “I will wait until you finish.”

The Disciple rolled her eyes, pretending not to see when the Signless cut her a look.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” the Signless replied, swallowing his food. “Come on, I can hear your stomach growling from here.”

The Psiioniic looked down at his hands, folded nervously in his lap. “If you don’t mind…” he said quietly, “…I would highly prefer to wait.”

The Signless stared for a moment, then let out a sigh. It wasn’t ever any use arguing with him.

“Well,” said the Disciple, wiping her mouth and leaning over to grab the Psiioniic’s plate, “if you’re not going to eat this, no sense in letting it go to waste….”

“What—Disciple, stop!” the Signless shouted.

“What, he doesn’t want it!” she insisted. The Psiioniic said nothing to either of them.

“Just leave it alone,” he said, his voice stern. They stared each other down for a moment; the Disciple eventually released her hold on the Psiioniic’s food, and went back to finish her own.

It wasn’t until she and the Signless had finished their meals that the Psiioniic started in on his own. The Signless was certain it was cold and dry by now, but the yellowblood did not complain. He made sure to finish everything on his plate, but refused a second helping. He helped the Dolorosa stamp out the fire, though he cringed every time a cloud of dust or ash puffed up to mar her green dress.

The sky was getting light, so they settled down in a nearby cave to sleep. Sopor slime was a rare luxury these days, but the Signless usually found that sleeping in a pile with his lusus and the Disciple was even better. The Psiioniic never joined them. If he slept at all, he propped himself up against the cave wall, keeping the group in his sight, until he drifted off. Most days, he stayed near the front of the cave, saying that he would keep watch, and that it was the least he could do for them.

The Signless waited until he felt the Dolorosa and Disciple fall asleep before he rolled out of the pile. He walked up towards the cave entrance, blinking against the blinding white circle of sunlight that greeted him. The tiny silhouette of the Psiioniic sat out of the reach of the sun’s ray, vigilantly watching the outside world.

His head whipped around when he heard the Signless approach, his eyes widening. “Oh,” he said, scrambling to his feet. “I apologize, did I wake you?”

The Signless bit back a laugh. “How, by breathing?” He gestured for the Psiioniic to sit back down, which he did, reluctantly, as the Signless sat beside him.

“…Quiet day?” the Signless asked.

The Psiioniic nodded. “I’ve theen nothing out of the ordinary. Though if I did, I would dispatch the threat immediately with minimal disruption to your sleep.”

“What about disruption to _your_ sleep?” the Signless asked humorlessly, staring at the psionic troll through slitted eyes. “When was the last time you even closed your eyes?”

“I can stay awake for seventy-two hours with no detriment to my performance.”

“Really? That’s…handy, I guess.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Um….” He searched for a line of conversation. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“I was trained according to the thpethifications—” he struggled to say the word clearly “—requested by my master.”

“Master…oh,” the Signless repeated, shrinking into himself a bit, mentally kicking himself. “So you’re—used to be…hmm.” He wrapped his cloak around himself tighter. “That’s…well, I didn’t know that.”

The Psiioniic did not respond. He continued to scan the landscape, teeming with complete and utter nothing.

“So I guess,” the Signless started again, “you left…your master.”

The Psiioniic’s fists tensed a bit. “I did,” he replied. “Perhaps it wath shameful, but…I…chose something else.” He glanced at the Signless out of the corner of his eye. “I chose to follow you instead.”

That put a smile on the Signless’ face. “You must have heard me speak in a city somewhere.” The Psiioniic nodded.

For a short while there was a calm silence between them. The Signless shifted his weight again, and the Psiioniic frowned. He brushed another bit of dirt from the Signless’ cloak.

“…You don’t have to do that,” the Signless said softly. “Really. It’s all right.”

The Psiioniic blushed and quickly turned his attention back to the wasteland. “I’m sorry,” he offered meekly. “I am only doing what my…previous master taught me. So far you have not commanded me to do differently, so….”

“Command?” The Signless scowled. “I don’t…want to ‘command’ you to do anything. Just…do whatever you want!” He shrugged. “You don’t serve me, Psiioniic.”

The Psiioniic’s face fell, and he deflated a bit. It wasn’t quite the response the Signless had been expecting. “…Oh,” the yellowblood said quietly. “…If you’d like me to leave, I will go. I’m sorry I’ve forced myself upon your group.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. I’m not saying ‘leave’! I’m saying that you’re not a servant anymore. You’re just you; you’re not who you used to be. I mean…you _want_ to stay with us, don’t you?”

“I…do,” the Psiioniic said slowly. He paused, staring down at his fidgeting hands. “I don’t think…that the Dithiple likes me.”

The Signless waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, she’s just really picky about who she lets be around her. She thinks you’re…well, she think you’re too, uh, you know… subjugated,” he finished in a small whisper. “But that’s not your fault! You’ll grow out of it.”

“I…hope so. Because….” He blushed suddenly and turned his face away. “Never mind.”

“What?” the Signless asked curiously, leaning over to look at the Psiioniic.

“I juth…it’s not appropriate.”

“I think hearing you say something inappropriate would be refreshing for once.”

The Psiioniic whipped his head back around to stare at him, borderline offended, and the Signless couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, I mean really!” he said in between giggles.

“No, you don’t understand,” the Psiioniic replied, shaking his head fervently. “I should respect boundaries when I see them. The fault is mine, and I apologize.”

“What…what boundaries?” He frowned. “You’ve lost me.”

“I understand that the Dolorosa is your lusus. And I understand that the Disciple is your matesprit.” An intense yellow blush filled his face and he turned away again. “I should not even be discussing your quadrants with you. I’m sorry.”

The Signless blinked in disbelief, struggled not to laugh, and said, “Th-the Disciple’s…not my matesprit.”

“…Oh.” A moment of silence. “I have misread things. Is it pale?”

“Hardly,” he giggled. “She’s my friend. That’s really all it is.”

“…Oh. …I’m glad.”

The Signless looked out into the wilderness, sighed, and said, “You know, I really don’t think there’s anything going on out here.” He reached over and took the Psiioniic’s hand, feeling him tense up as they touched. “Let’s just go to sleep.”

“I-I’d rather not,” the Psiioniic blurted out, taking his hand back and rubbing it, as if the Signless’ skin had burned him. “You can never be…too careful.”

“Well, then why don’t you let me take watch for a little bit?” he suggested. The Psiioniic looked at him warily. “I just think you should sleep. At the very least, lie down.”

The Psiioniic said nothing, only averted his eyes down to the ground, blushing madly and at a complete loss for what to do. The Signless sighed theatrically, reached over, and slung his arm around the Psiioniic’s shoulder, pulling him over into a hug.

“Come on, just like this,” he said, grinning at the weak, yet tense resistances from the skinny troll. The Signless propped himself up against the cave wall and pulled the Psiioniic up against him, sitting snugly between his legs and up against his chest. “This is more comfortable, right?”

“Uh…y-yeth, but…your luthus….”

“What about her?”

“Sh-she won’t…like thith….”

“You’re being ridiculous again.” The Signless ruffled his hair softly, mindful of the strange twinned horns. “Rosa would be glad to see you relaxed. So would the Disciple, even. And so would I.”

He felt the Psiioniic’s tension let up just a bit. Minutes dragged by, but slowly, he settled in deeper against the Signless’ body. “…Thank you,” he managed. “Thith is…nice.”

“I bet it’s been a while since you got to relax like this,” the Signless said.

“It…it has.”

He laughed softly, the vibrations reverberating out and into the Psiioniic’s body. It seemed to draw him closer. “So I guess this is really the first time in your life you’ve done something different, huh?”

The Psiioniic nodded stiffly. “Y-…yes.” He paused, and when he spoke again, every word came out of his mouth slowly and carefully, as if expecting each of them to be landmine designed to destroy this moment. “I was…worried because I shouldn’t…I should never have run away. Or at least…that’th what I tell myself….” He shifted uncomfortably, but the sudden anxiety melted away as the Signless gently stroked his arm. “But…I’m just…fascinated by everything you say….”

The Signless chuckled. “Well, I won’t pretend that doesn’t flatter me.” He tightened his hold around the Psiioniic; the troll was actually freezing, it was amazing he could even control his shivering. “But you know, it’s not actually breaking any rules. This is the right way: you being free, that is. No troll deserves to be a slave to another, like you were.”

“Mmm…” the Psiioniic muttered uneasily. “I…I don’t know what’s the right way. All I know is…what gets me hurt…and what doesn’t.”

“I can understand that.” He was suddenly having a hard time taking his eyes off the Psiioniic’s face. It was…entrancing, the way a troll could look so rigid and so frail all at once. Almost like the way a river would gather the thinnest coat of ice at the beginning of the cold season, and at a distance, for all accounts, appear solid. But simply drop something on the surface, attempt to walk out onto the water, and it would crack, pulling you down into something nobody could survive.

“Are you worried that something will hurt you now?” the Signless asked.

“…A little.” He seemed to shrink within the Signless’ grasp, retreating into himself where nobody would possibly have the sense to follow.

The Signless had always put very little stock in “sense”.

“What do you think would happen if you did the thing you really wanted to?”

“…I…don’t know. I guess…I guess I’d lose everything.” The Signless felt his face grow warm from the sudden blush. “…And I don’t have much.”

“But what if you didn’t lose anything at all? What if instead of thinking of what you’ll lose, think of what you’ll gain?”

The Psiioniic laughed humorlessly, but still it brought a smile to the Signless’ face. There was silence, and then his laugh came again, brighter, and more real, and the Signless was suddenly dumbfounded as he realized it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. Perhaps the Psiioniic had never laughed before…perhaps he’d never had anything to laugh _about_. The sound of it was new and fresh and enthralled by the idea that there were actually _possibilities_ , _thousands_ of things to be happy about. Even when only one thing was all that was needed.

“That would be…the betht thing to ever happen,” the Psiioniic replied shyly.

The Signless reached up and took hold of the Psiioniic’s chin in one hand, turning his face until their eyes met. The smile dropped off the yellowblood’s face, replaced by confusion, fear, and…the audacity of hope. The Signless could feel his struggle to stay still, the insurmountable effort of doing nothing and just…waiting. Waiting for approval. For somebody else to tell him he had done all right.

The absence of pain was the closest thing the Psiioniic had ever had to happiness. There was such a void in him, he was like a shell, hiding away his hope because such a thing wasn’t supposed to exist. There was nowhere to go, no way to pull himself out; and if he couldn’t do it, surely nobody else existed who could be bothered to try….

The Signless’ lips were on his, and god he was warm, so warm…. The Signless felt the tiniest flinch of terror from the Psiioniic, small yet explosive, miniscule yet strong enough to burst through the sheet of ice and into the cold, deadly water beneath. As they both plunged in and sank, down into paralyzing depths, the Signless felt the Psiioniic’s sterile, restrained heart leap alive, a small spark catching flame in the driest and deadest desert. The warmth from both of them blossomed out, meeting at the point of contact with an intensity that set their blood racing.

The Signless reached back to caress the back of the Psiioniic’s head, pulling him closer and deeper, wanting to pull the troll into his very being if he could, if just to warm and surround him, if just to melt the icy river that much more. He was certain he had never blushed this hard before, or felt this uncertain or nervous or excited or greedy…the troll he held in his arms was a ghost receiving his body again, and the Signless would gladly breathe his own soul into him if only he would stay, and laugh, and smile, and take the thing he desired so dearly over and over again.

When the kiss ended, the old world was gone; colors were clearer, the scent of the air was sweeter, and every heartbeat was a exultation of gratitude for reality itself.

They were both smiling, shy but shameless. “How’s that for a start?” the Signless asked, his smile stretched to its absolute limit.

“Good,” the Psiioniic replied, giggling and averting his eyes. “…Real good.”

The Signless loosely intertwined his fingers with the Psiioniic’s, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of him smiling. “See? And everything’s just as it was…only so much better.”

The Psiioniic looked up, his slightly oversized fangs poking out over his bottom lip. “I never imagined that you would ever blush.”

“If life didn’t surprise us, I don’t think we’d have a reason to live.”

“Ehehe….” His grasp on the Signless’ hands tightened. “No, I don’t think so either.”


End file.
